The Penguin/Pigeon Incident

About an hour ago I got into my first real argument with my four year old.  Like all such things, it began over something so incredibly trivial, so abjectly silly that I am still trying to figure out where it came from.  But in the end, it brought some clarity to me as to just how we ended up with George W. Bush as president.  Yeah, it's that profound.  I'll explain after the jump.

I was putting our four year old to bed this evening and had began reading to him as is our custom.  [All bewilderment aside, everyone should really try to read for 15 minutes to your kid every night]  One of the books he chose was Goose on the Loose, by Cox, Tyler and Cartwright.  Not a bad book in itself, the main purpose of which is to help children understand phonetic concepts.  

Pronunciation issues were not, however, the problem.  We got to the end of the book, at which point a goose is identified as getting into a pool with a penguin.  Innocuous stuff indeed.  I started to put the book down and reach for the second selection when my son stopped me, saying: "That's not a penguin; that's a pigeon."

After a moment's pause, I looked at him and said, "No son, that's a penguin."  I mean, the long-ish bill, the flipper-like wings, the webbed feet, and the fact that the word at the bottom of the page read "penguin" all made me feel fairly confident that I was dealing with some member of the Spheniscidae sub-family of fowl.  "No," he said.  "That's a pigeon.  I know its a pigeon."

I stand my ground.  "Son, Daddy's very sure that this is a penguin," I said, and I gave him all of the aforementioned reasons why."

But he didn't budge.  "Mommy called it a pigeon.  It is NOT a penguin."  He then set his face and folded his arms like a guardian of the soul of Iszara.

"Fine," I say, "we'll wait for mommy to come in and tell us herself."  Mommy, who eventually returns from putting our two year old to bed, confirms for everyone that the word on the page is, in fact, "penguin", and that she may have mistakenly called it a pigeon.  No big deal.  It happens.  Good idea to correct a mistaken understanding if only so a kid calls something by its right name and picks up the words correctly as he starts the difficult task of reading text from a page.

But my kid is having none of it.  It doesn't matter that I've told him that its a "penguin."  It doesn't matter that I've given him 4 separate dispositve reasons why its a penguin.  It doesn't matter that I have also disposed of his argument in opposition (Mommy) by producing her and exposing the lack of persuasive authority.  No.  He's DECIDED ITS A PIGEON.

I'm pretty bemused at this point.  We've moved on from a simple objection to an outright denial of reality.  And he's visibly angry about this.  I'm talking the hold-your-breath-until-blue-in-the-face kind of mad.  Jumping up and down mad.  "I don't want you to put me to bed anyone" kind of mad.  Now, granted, we are talking about text and images in a simple children's books about anthropomorphizing various fowl and I suppose everyone reading to this point is saying to themselves "Man, you really should get a life...."

Trouble is, my kids ARE my life.  I think we all need to draw a line in the sand from time to time, and insist that our kids call things what they are and not be deceived into believing otherwise.  And nothing has brought that into clearer relief than....wait for it....the incredibly--nay, the INVINCIBLY stubborn President of the United States, George W. Bush.

Some part of me is just absolutely sure that Barbara, when faced with a similar circumstance simply told little Georgie what he wanted to hear.  "Yes, dear, its a pigeon if you say so.  My mistake."  I have no doubt whatsoever that this is how it all started.  The getting him into Yale.  The getting him out of the war.  The getting him out of the getting him out of war.  The getting him out of every business disaster (read: decision) he's ever made.  All the way up to invading Iraq, cutting taxes, destroying civil liberties, etc.  Its all because nobody has ever told this guy "NO, that's wrong."

So remember, blind bewildering ignorance starts at home.  Do your kid a favor; stand your ground with them.  Don't just tell them what they want to hear.  Today, its a pigeon.  Tomorrow, its "They are a threat to your children, David."